On a serious note, I would like to put a disclaimer out there. This blog is a work in progress. I am still learning how to work the site and even how to express myself. I am a work in progress. My interests and passions are always changing, sometimes on a daily basis! So, as you can imagine, this blog will probably be changing with me. There are a few reasons for starting this blog that I would like to add and what that process was like for me.
Here is another reason I started this blog. I am interested in everything! lol Although, I am not very artistic, I love art. In fact, the majority of my close friends are artists and very creative people. I love photography. I love sunsets and sunrises. I love the mountains. I love hiking, even when on some occasions I felt like it was going to kill me! ha I am a soldier and a veteran. I work in the social work field and am interested in so many areas. I have been an advocate for Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault survivors, ran culturally based youth empowerment programming, case management for youth with severe emotional disturbances and youth in therapeutic foster care. I have work with Native led nonprofits and with young Native men and woman going to college. I have been a reporter for Native led newspapers and college newspapers.
The crazy thing is that I loved it all and I could still change up jobs and be totally into what I'm doing. I've always felt a little flaky for not sticking to one job for years on end, but you know what, why do I feel like that? Who says we have to work one job for the rest of our lives. My philosophy is that life is way too short to not pursue everything we are interested in. That doesn't mean I don't fully support those who have found a job that they can do their whole life. I am happy for them. It's just that, that is not me. I think society pushes a lot of agendas on us that are not in our best interests. I have struggled with that over the years. Determining what I want versus what my family wants for me, what my friends want for me and what society tells me! It is definitely a fine line to walk, but I have learned to know when I actually feel happy and when I don't. This is something that is often overlooked. Finding a good job and interests may be as simple as finding something that makes us happy! I understand and respect that it will not always be so simple. Sometimes we have to pay our dues and work through the grit to get to what is going to make us happy. But there is a big difference between paying dues and being miserable. I for one, am choosing to not be miserable! ha And I want to share what that has taught and will continue to teach me.
Okay, moving on...
So, I did it! I started my blog! And, I have to say, it was not easy. It is very scary. While writing my introduction, I got up out of my chair and paced my apartment more than a few times! I texted close friends and relatives to let them know what I was doing and asked for feedback. I was even scared of what they would say! Its so crazy how much fear can control our thoughts. These are people who are the closest to me and I was scared (still am a little) that they would reject what I have to share and say! Sitting here this morning, thinking about that, I realize it's a little irrational. But I imagine so many of us go through that. There have been so many times in my life that the fear actually kept me from doing a lot of good things. I let it control me.
I think anytime we decide to do anything that is outside of our norm, its scary! The key is to not let that fear get the best of us. Sometimes there is actual real fear of what could potentially be dangerous. I'm not talking about that fear! By all means be safe! lol I'm talking about the irrational fear that prevents us from doing things that a new, fun, exciting and often times true to who we are. I don't have some magic answer as to how to overcome those fears. I know for me, I rely on advice from my parents, my spirituality, those closest to me and I overdose on reading inspirational quotes, books, poetry and listen to inspirational music and videos. My parents always say that we have to be willing to go past vulnerability and go to a place of bewilderment if we want to truly grow and change. When they first started sharing this, I heard what they were saying, but I didn't understand. I think I am starting to understand now. I felt completely vulnerable yesterday (still do) thinking about sharing my personal thoughts and experiences. Now that I did it, I feel bewildered...like what now. lol I know that I am happy that I did it and that tells me that I must be where I am supposed to be.
So, if you hang in there with me. I am going to continue to push through this awkward place of vulnerability and bewilderment! I have attached a few of the images and quotes I have been focusing on and putting energy towards the past few days. I hope they are as helpful to you as they were to me :)
<3 Blessings
Krystal Rain
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